i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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