no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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