I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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