You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My vagina just clenched in fear
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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