i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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