I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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