Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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