I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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