Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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