Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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