This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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