Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize