i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize