there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize