she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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