All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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