i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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