In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize