I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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