I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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