If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i believe in u and ur pee
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize