i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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