We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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