I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize