I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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