I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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