There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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