He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize