Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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