she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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