I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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