We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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