I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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