Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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