it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize