I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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