i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My balls are so social today.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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