Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

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(813): i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it http://tfl.nu/qhxq

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(605): View more from South Dakota

was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

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(605): was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her? http://tfl.nu/02kh

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(914): View more from New York

How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?

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(914): How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German? http://tfl.nu/tyh7

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(786): View more from Florida

I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.

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(786): I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me. http://tfl.nu/ua0x

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(518): View more from New York

it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

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(518): it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while.... http://tfl.nu/r6bs

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(914): View more from New York

i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die

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(914): i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die http://tfl.nu/gzsu

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa

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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.

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(832): He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/abxi

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(801): View more from Utah

Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

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(801): Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day. http://tfl.nu/wa25

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

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(908): You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night. (732): Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/bgum

Replies (6) Good night (1944) Bad night (431)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.

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(612): Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/dnyr

Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (452)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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(814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq

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(573): View more from Missouri

I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..

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(573): I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding.. http://tfl.nu/ukti

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(775): View more from Nevada

Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!

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(775): Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii! http://tfl.nu/sf3q

Replies (4) Good night (402) Bad night (358)

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