I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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