So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize