Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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