i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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