the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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