you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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