I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize