Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (522) Bad night (3152) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.

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  (719): so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself. http://tfl.nu/omuv
  Replies (28) Good night (1091) Bad night (2752) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish

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  (352): Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish http://tfl.nu/gqzy
  Replies (26) Good night (2744) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes

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  (519): I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes http://tfl.nu/mnz7
  Replies (10) Good night (1221) Bad night (2573) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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  (717): She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands... http://tfl.nu/ij5g
  Replies (42) Good night (773) Bad night (6537) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.

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  (646): You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine. http://tfl.nu/zb6r
  Replies (18) Good night (1486) Bad night (3192) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

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  (812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od
  Replies (43) Good night (9691) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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  (724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0
  Replies (6) Good night (4618) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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  (415): And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?! http://tfl.nu/ikec
  Replies (9) Good night (2841) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.

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  (814): I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer. http://tfl.nu/ef74
  Replies (3) Good night (1381) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1476) Bad night (1328)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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  (250): I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick. http://tfl.nu/pl6y
  Replies (18) Good night (842) Bad night (1748) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero

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  (732): I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/o55w
  Replies (10) Good night (1510) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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  (702): Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent. http://tfl.nu/joa6
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

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  (415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt

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