I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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