Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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