He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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