I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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